Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize