I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
