She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
