i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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