I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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