Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
