its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
