he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
