She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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