Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
