Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Floor bacon is actually really good
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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