But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
