Pants 0. Shit 1.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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