I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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