I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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