I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
