I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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