Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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