so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
