not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
