how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
