She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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