there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
