i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
