Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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