Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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