so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
not ubering you a puppy
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
