You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
