She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
