The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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