She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
