the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
