PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
