i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize