I swear she didn't look like that last week.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
