Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
