Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
