Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
No stitches, just platelets and will power
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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