Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
dude. I can hear the air.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
