Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
