I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
