Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
