he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
