Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
