I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
