Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
