You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
