You smell like stripper and shame
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
