I smell stomach acid.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
