umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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