and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
