let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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