I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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