so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
