she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
