I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
