I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
