my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
