Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
