yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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