...so i touched it.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
