We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
