the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
