Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
