Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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