I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
